Blog Closed !!!
Dear Readers,
Sorry to inform you that we are closing this blog.
But the good news is that we blog @ http://indianhumorblog.wordpress.com
It is really difficult for us to blog at two different places. Hence this decision. Follow our other blog and have fun!
GH
Ha Ha… It’s just a kidney stone
Couple of days ago, I had a little pain on the right side of my hip. The first thing I did was what every wise man would do – panicking.
I had a feeling that it might be kidney stone because 3 out of 4 friends of mine who had pain in the hip had kidney stone. Well, the fourth guy is no more my friend. But he had kidney stone too.
Kidney stone is one of the cruelest things that has ever happened to human race next to Raveendra Jadeja’s batting. There are several ways to get rid of kidney stone. The easiest way is selling your kidney.
All these horrifying thoughts were running across my mind and I started panicking. As I started panicking, one of my friends, Akhil, pacified me saying, “Don’t think anything bad. Just think positive. What you think is what you get.”
Then I stopped panicking and started thinking about Katrina Kaif, Kristen Stewart, and Trisha Krishnan.
“Are you sure? I will get what I think na?” I just verified once again.
“Yes da,” he confirmed.
Akhil asked me to do something to divert my thoughts from the kidney stone. So we started watching TV. The breaking news on TV read, “The broke-up Robert Pattinson finally back in touch with Kristen Stewart.”
The news continued, “For a while, it looked like all hope was lost for the couple, as Kristen had been partying with a lot of friends. But don’t know what magic happened. Rob, who was taking a bath, suddenly started running with just a towel around him to reach a public telephone booth. He dialed Kristen and said, ‘you are my heart, kidney, and everything’.”
I looked irritably up and down at Akhil and asked him to change the channel… to check if Katrina Kaif and Salman Khan are back together. But I got to see Trisha Krishnan advertising Ranbaxy Volini gel – pain reliever.
“Oh god! Can you get me that?” I looked at Akhil.
“It’s 11 o’ clock da. The medical shops will be closed.”
“No, I’m not talking to you. I’m asking god to get me Trisha,” I corrected Akhil.
“Dei, you have pain in your hip. And still you are talking about all these things, huhhhh,” he gasped.
“Yeah, I can speak. I only have hip pain. My mouth doesn’t have pain, no?” I retaliated.
“I wish I could shovel a brick in between your upper and lower teeth,” he said angrily.
“Just keep in mind one thing. This is the age at which even if you eat brick, it should be digested. After all it’s just a stone,” I talked like Baba Ramdev.
“See da. One day, you are going to go to stone age,” he cursed.
This made me worry about the kidney stone again, which lead to this conversation.
Me: Do you know why humans have two kidneys?
Akhil: Why? In case one fails, the other will help?
Me: Yeah, you are right. In case one fails to give you the stone, the other will do.
Akhil: Stop thinking about that. Just drink plenty of water and take rest. The more you drink water, the more good it is.
“Are you sure that the more I drink water, the more good it is?” I just verified once again.
“Yes da,” he confirmed.
Then I didn’t touch water for the next 24 hours.
I was waiting eagerly for the dawn so that I could visit the doctor and get myself checked. It dawned and I visited my doctor.
The doctor scanned my whole body and reported the result to me, “Don’t worry, GH. Nothing serious. It’s just a small stone. It can be cured by medicine. Take this medicine after breakfast, this one after lunch, and this one after your brick dinner. And don’t drink water for the next 24 hours.”
Sunlight Fun flight
OK. I was on one-month vacation, visiting many European countries. I flew Emirates, so I had had to stop at Dubai for 3 hours (Dubai incidents in another post). In this post, I am going to write about my flight exbeerience.
I desperately wanted to roam around Europe. But money? I didn’t have. The ticket itself would cost more than Rs. 50,000. So, I started saving every penny I could, and tried to put it in the bank, but the bank people threw me out because they don’t accept pennies.
Bank guy: Sir, we only accept Indian Rupees.
Me: OK. Take me to Europe. I’ll deposit this penny in a branch over there.
Bank guy: How many times I should tell you, We only accept Indian Rupees. Do you hear? We only accept INDIAN RUPEES.
Me: Man, you’re racist.
Bank guy: What? Racist? Man, I can’t resist.
Me: Wow!! Are we playing ‘word play’? OK. My turn now. I need to deposit a penny here. Can you ASSIST?
Bank guy: I am going to twist your wrist. So, better see a dentist.
Me: Dentist for wrist?? Isn’t dentist someone who fixes the car dents?
Bank guy: Ohhhhh Jeeesus Christ!!!
So, basically it didn’t go well. I ran out of ‘ist’ words.
There are many good reasons to go to a foreign country, like, to climb Eiffel tower, to visit the Rome Colosseum, or to watch Vishwaroopam in Tamil. Whenever Kamal’s movie gets released, normally fans will fly high. But, for Vishwaroopam, they have to literally fly high. OK. It’s not a post about Vishwaroopam. Let’s get back to the problem more severe than Vishwaroopam – WishEuropePalm.
I was looking for a way to raise money for my vacation. I didn’t know any way. So I looked up and prayed god. All I could see was a Qatar flight flying while I looked up. Finally, I found one easy way to raise money – Ask dad.
Me: Dad, I need 25 million dollars.
Dad: Are you kidding? I don’t have 25 million dollars.
Me: OK. Just give me 3 lakhs. I know you have 3 lakhs.
Dad: You’re tricking me. But why do you need 3 lakhs?
Me: I am planning to fly to Europe.
Dad: Europe? Nope. Nope.
It didn’t workout. So I gave an ad in the newspaper: “Hello Indian Cricket Board, I am seeing the Indian team performance degrading lately. If you are looking for a good player, I would like to say that I’m a good battist and bowlist. Take me to England tour. And let’s also put some friendly matches with France and Italy.”
I tried another ad. “I am on sale. International delivery available. Especially to France, Italy, and England. International delivery from as low as 3 lakhs.” But somehow, my ads never work out.
I again thought of giving another try with my dad.
Me: Dad, I need 25 million dollars.
Dad: Are you kidding? I don’t have… 25… er, even 1 dollar.
Nothing worked out. So I decided to buy a loan for my Europe trip. I went to the same bank where I had problems earlier. It looked like the bank building had been recently painted. There was also a big advertisement board outside, which read, “We don’t accept pennies here”.
gramaticallyhumorous 