Sarcastic Ri
Ri is my colleague in IT. He’s a master of sarcasm. In this post, I’ll share some of his sarcastic remarks that cracked me up. I have learned some sarcasm from him. At the end of this post, you can find some of my sarcastic remarks too.
The application which we are working on, is really slow. The servers are dead slow. R, S, Ri, and I were discussing this slow nature. Ri said, “Our servers are running on microwave oven.”
Ri and I were testing something in our application. We clicked something, and that request was running for more than 300 seconds (slow). So I canceled the request. The system displayed a message, “The request has been canceled at your request.” Ri said, “Canceled at our request? OUR REQUEST? Oh yeah, we didn’t want to see the output, so we requested cancellation.”
Ri works from another room. R, S, and I work in a room. Ri wanted some info from me, so he pinged me in the chat. But I didn’t have access to the info that he asked for. So I told him that I would ask R for the info and send it in email. Ri was wondering, “Oh! R is in the office today??!! The chat-client shows him as ‘away for 2 days’!!” I told him, “No, he’s in the office.” Ri, then asked me, “Should I ping R or you’ll ask him and send me that info?” I told him, “I’ve asked him already.” Ri wondered, “Already?? you mean, before 2 days?”
One month ago, it was our product release time. We had to finish a really tough thing in few days. At that time, Ri and I were working on that task and discussing something. G entered the room at that time and asked us, “Is GH nagging Ri, or Ri nagging GH?” I replied, “Not either. You are nagging us.”
In one of our team meetings, R, S, Ri, Wo, K (remember K?) and I were in a conference room. Wi joined our meeting from a remote place via phone call. Wo was driving the meeting. He asked Wi for some info, “Hey Wi, how much effort it’ll take and what action should we take?” for which Wi replied, “Yeah.” Ri said, “YEAH? That’s actually quite a lot of info.”
Last week, I was working on an important change. It’s to transfer some data from our application to Tibco. I looked into many sections of old code in our application to figure out how to do it. I finally succeeded in it and sent a test message to Tibco. I went to Ri to convey this info. “Hey Ri, I just sent a test message to Tibco.” Ri asked me, “What message did you send? ‘Tibco sucks’?”
Today, we (Ri and I) were working on our next product-release (which is next week). We were testing a newly-developed functionality and, as usual, the test environment was dead slow. At the same time, another person in the same room was talking oh his mobile phone. He couldn’t hear the person on the other side, so he was just saying loudly over his mobile phone, “Helllloooooo.” Ri commented, “probably, his mobile phone is running on our servers.”
R, S, and another person X were discussing something related to the project. I was looking for P at that time. I asked them, “Do you guys know where P is?” For which, X replied, “He is fishing somewhere in a lake.” Laughter all over the room. I just left the room, in search of P. I couldn’t find P anywhere. Then I came back to my room and asked them again, “Is P back from fishing?”
Actually, Ri cracked me up many times (a lot). But I am bad at remembering things. So I’ve just put here the things that I remember. But, yeah, it’s actually quite a lot of info.
gramaticallyhumorous 