Pre-marathon Preparation

♦ December 3, 2012 ♦ Leave a comment

Couple of months ago, I wrote a post about the marathon. I promised that I would write about my marathon experience… if I were alive. Totally, 36,000 people participated in the race. I survived that marathon to write a book about it: “How to finish a marathon in 30 days”. From the author of International bestseller “How to register for marathon in 30 days”.

There were many reasons for me to run that marathon. Some of them are: it’s a cardiovascular workout, it improves stamina, and I would get a free t-shirt. I wanted to print this caption at the back of my t-shirt: “If you die during the marathon, please donate your free t-shirt to me. But if you make it and are alive, then give your *phone number to me. *Offer valid only for blue-eyed, black haired, good-looking girls.” It was like I was participating in the marathon… dating event.

Moreover if I got a girl during the marathon, I would be cool and relaxed during critical circumstances, like eloping. Yeah, parents are always against love. If you show me one father who’s not against love, I’ll er… ask him to adopt me.

In case, if I got a girl during the run, our conversation would’ve been like this
Me: Hey gorgeous, you’re precious; you’re amazing; you are one in a 36,000.
Girl: Thank you.
Me: Is your father against love?
Girl: No, he supports love.
Me: Oh great!! Then, I’ll ask him to adopt me as his son.
Girl: Er, what?
Me: Yeah, I’ll ask him to adopt me, so I won’t be having a parent who objects the love marriage.
Girl: What? Are you mad? Then you’ll become my brother.
Me: Oh, I didn’t realize that. You, better, start looking for a new father then.

I already told in my first post that I registered for the half marathon. I’d not call it half marathon. I’d rather call it “better-half marathon”. Because when I ran the marathon, I kept asking myself whenever a good-looking girl overtook me, “Is she my better half? Is she the half in a 18,000?”

Just registering for half marathon was not enough. I also had to practice long jump techniques. In case earthquake occurred and caused 6-meters-wide crack, I should be able to jump over to the other side and continue the marathon. And had to practice some swimming techniques, in case the city was flooded (I also bought a swim suit). And had to practice some running, in case no disasters occurred.

My routine life was affected because of the marathon training. Yeah, I used to be a sleep walker, but I became a sleep runner. It also created a lot of complications in my life. The newspaper guys made a typo: missed out ‘runn’ in ‘sleeprunning’ when I wanted to give an ad in the newspaper, like, “Anybody interested in sleeprunning with me”.

We were still waiting for the free t-shirts to arrive. It finally arrived on the day before marathon. It was sent to another branch of our company. So my boss went to that branch, collected all our colleagues’ kits (which includes the t-shirt) and came back to our office. My friend, A, who was co-ordinating this event, emailed everyone in our project like this (my boss was CCed)

Hello guys,

Good news. We’ve finally got our marathon kit. You can collect it.
Time: 5:30 p.m.
Venue: Car parking area – Our boss’s car.

Regards,
A

I swear I’m not making this up. I responded to that email (reply all) like this.

I would rather like
Time: 5:30 p.m.
Venue: Car parking area
What you get: Our boss’s car.

Regards,
GH

After looking at that email, my boss came out of his cabin with an angry face. Yeah, bosses are always against the jokes on them. If you show me one boss who’s not against the jokes on him, I’ll er… crack few more jokes on him and… not run.

Did you lake this post? Then, cement please