WWW – Welcome to my Workaholic World

I have been working hard lately. It, for sure, helps the growth of my company and my beard. Looking at how long I stay in the office, some of my colleagues had started doubting whether I was doing a research if beard can grow without sunlight. I told them, though, that in many cases, beard doesn’t grow even in the presence of sunlight, too, and showed them some of the girls working in our office as proof.

People have started calling me workaholic. I don’t know why they call me workaholic. I go to work at 8 o’ clock in the morning and come back at 6 o’ clock in the evening, the next year. The last time my mom saw me was during the 3D scan the doctor did when I was in her womb. The last time my dad saw me was during a Skype call with my mom, when she showed the 3D baby-scan through a web camera. My dad was in the office at that time. OK, I’m just kidding. He didn’t have time to watch the 3D baby-scan live. He watched the footage of the 3D baby-scan, 3 years later.

Let’s forget about my mom and dad. It’s not a post about my mom or my dad or the 3D baby-scan technology. It’s about work, work, and work. Hard work is the key to success. I work from office, work from home, work from strangers’ home. If you’re wondering whether I break into strangers’ home, I swear I don’t do such bad things. I don’t need to break into a stranger’s house. Because I work hard… and hard work is the KEY.

People say that workaholism is worse than alcoholism. If I drink, the same people ask me, “Why do you always drink? Don’t you have any other work to do?” If I work, the same people say to me, “Come on, give yourself a break. Go, have some drink and party.” If I party, the same people ask me, “Can we join the party?” The only aim of these people is to trick me into throwing a party.

You must have heard the proverb “Hard work pays”. Yeah sure, it pays everyone… except my barber. The last time I had my hair cut was… oh, wait, forget it. Haircut is not possible in 3D scans.

I work like a crazy man because of my dreams. I had dreams like becoming employee of the month, employee of the year, employee of leap year, etc. So I didn’t leave office for couple of months… until one day when they kicked me out when they found I was not an employee of that company in the first place. I changed my dream at that time. I dreamed of first becoming an employee of some company. I could then dream of becoming employee of month, year, and leap year.

I eventually got a job. Along with the job, I also got free things like sleep deprivation, deterioration of relationships, health problems, etc. I found the cause of sleep deprivation though. The cause was the free coffee that I get in the office. And I guess that the coffee was the reason for the deterioration of my relationship with my girl friend, too. Yeah, I invited her over to my office for having a cup of free coffee. She called me cheap and left me with my health problems.

In the last month, we had a product release. I had to work really hard for that. I worked even in the weekends. My friends thought that I became workaholic. Some of them advised me, “workaholism causes health problems, deterioration of relationships, sleep deprivation etc. It is worse than being alcoholic, you know.” I said, “Are you trying to manipulate me into throwing you a party?”

The product release went very well and it was a success. My boss called me to his desk. I thought he called me to congratulate on the success. I went to his office. He said, “GH, You really stand out from the crowd.” I asked him, “Do you really mean it?” He said, “Yes, I mean it. Look at those dark marks under your eyes, the shirt and pant which are unchanged in the last 3 weeks, and the weight loss, which just caused your pant to fall down. You really stand out from the crowd.” At that moment, I realized that he was sarcastic. I said I would go home, take rest, and come back to office… in 30 minutes. While I was about to leave, my boss said, “You are weird. You wear a flower-printed underwear!!! a flower-printed underwear!!!”

I went home after so many days. Nobody was home when I went back. I was very tired, so I just fell on the bed and took a nap. I woke up to the sound of someone speaking in the house. The person in the hall was surprised to see me. He said, “Who are you? What the hell are you doing in my house? How did you get in? Did you break into the house? I’m calling the police.” I said, “Why are you calling the police? Do they know the answer for the questions ‘Who am I? What the hell am I doing in your house? And how did I get in?’ ” The stranger replied, “No, I am just calling them to check if my phone is working properly.” I replied, “Oh, thanks, man. I also have to check if my phone is working properly. What’s the number? Is it 100?” He got tensed, “No dumbo, that is sarcasm.” I replied, “Sarcasm? That doesn’t sound like a number to me. Did you pass your high school maths?”

Our conversation was going on and on and I was answering inappropriately for every question. He asked me, “You’re answering inappropriately for my every question. Are you drunk?” I said, “No, I’m not drunk. But it’s worse than that.” He asked, “What? Are you workaholic?” I wondered, “How did you find out!!!” He said, “No wonder. I’m workaholic too. And moreover, this is not my house, too.”

We both were workaholic and did not own the house. We were happy to meet each other. We sat on the couch and continued our conversation. At that time, we found a note on the desk. The note read, “Hello stranger. We are currently at work. We expect that we’ll be back in 2036. If you’re here reading this note and if you’re bored, feel free to watch the CDs in the top drawer. Those CDs have the footage of our son’s 3D baby-scan.” I went, “Awww, dad… it’s you!!!”

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